January 14, 2013
Today is my Dad’s birthday. There are millions of things I love about him! Here are a few:
When I was about 5 years old my best friend Kyle told me about a monster that had appeared in his room from under his bed one night. He said as he lay in bed a big hand had reached up from under the bed and grabbed him! I suggested that maybe it had only been a dream, but he insisted it was the absolute truth and scared me out of my wits. That night when I went to bed I told my Dad how scared I was that there was a monster under my bed that was going to reach up and grab me. He soothed me and told me Kyle had just had a nightmare. Once I was calm he turned out the lights and left the room. A few moments later I heard my Mom scolding my Dad from the hallway, “Buuuuuzzz??” At the same time I saw a huge hand reaching toward me from under my bed! I screamed, but instantly I knew it was my Father who had crawled back into my room and under my bed to reach his hand up to scare me! Now, another child might have been scarred for life. But I honestly don’t think I lost a moment’s sleep over being scared again in my life–ever.
When my first love went off to college I was still in high school. After coming home from delivering him to the start of his sophomore year, I was heartbroken and trying to hold it together through dinner. We used to have rather formal dinners at our house. Dining room, candles, wine, interesting music, etc. At one point I excused myself and went out to the kitchen under the pretense of getting something. Instead, I stood in the corner and quietly sobbed with my face in my hands. A moment later I felt big, strong arms surrounding me–my dad had sensed that I was upset and had followed me from the table to give me a hug. I love that I didn’t have to speak my troubles or make a scene, he just knew what I needed in that moment.
When I was preparing to adopt Rahul my Dad announced he wanted to come with me to India and I was thrilled! It was a pretty emotional experience (to say the least) and there is no one who steadies me like him. Besides that, Rahul instantly fell in love with him.
Need I say more?
Happy Birthday Buzz!
January 12, 2013
The other night I was having trouble sleeping. Now, normally, I sleep very soundly. My life only accords me a few hours to sleep, so I try to make the most of it! But I swear I’m starting “the change”, because the other night I felt like it was 90 degrees in my room and I just couldn’t cool off. So I rolled around, changed my clothes, kicked the cat off the bed. Nothing worked. And as I lay there trying to cool down and fall back asleep I began to fret. I’m not normally a worrier, but there’s something about lying alone in the dark to get one feeling anxious about all of life’s troubles. My mind searched around for something else to think about, but I couldn’t seem to let go of troubling lines of thought.
How am I going to pay my bills? Is my dog going to feel better? (He’s been sick.) How am I going to send Rahul to college? What will I do when my parents get too old to care for themselves? Who will care for me when I’m old?
You know the progression of anxiety.
Then a strange thought popped in my head: purple. I saw in my mind the most vivid purple. It was so gorgeous that I forgot about my questions for a moment. It was an abstract thought, but it was an arresting color and I contemplated whether I had ever seen it in nature, or just material things. I thought about the sky and and the beautiful, startling colors contained in it at times and I puzzled over whether I had ever seen that purple in the sky before. I was sure I hadn’t. And as I drifted back off to sleep I longed to see that purple in the sky…
A short while later my alarm was gonging and it was time to get up. I rolled out of bed and took my dog outside for his walk. My brain was foggy and sluggish as I led him east along our street. He stopped to sniff something and I turned my head to stretch. And the western sky was completely purple. I immediately remembered my earlier thoughts and was stunned. It was exactly the color I had pictured in my head and it wasn’t just a sliver of purple, it was the entire sky! I stood frozen on the sidewalk staring into the sky. And before my eyes it changed to grey. As the sun was rising the colors were refracting differently and the purple was gone.
He made it purple for me! I thought. God put color in the sky at the exact moment I was going to see it to show me He would take care of all the answers to my anxious questions. To show me He loved me and He saw me.
I know it sounds arrogant–God colored the entire sky purple just for me!!–but I do believe it. I think He does it for all of us, all the time, whether we notice it or acknowledge or recognize it. David wrote, “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.” (Psalm 19:1-2)
I’m just one, tiny insignificant person and I am mostly invisible to the people around me. But to know that my Maker sees me is what I need to get through today.