January 12, 2013
The other night I was having trouble sleeping. Now, normally, I sleep very soundly. My life only accords me a few hours to sleep, so I try to make the most of it! But I swear I’m starting “the change”, because the other night I felt like it was 90 degrees in my room and I just couldn’t cool off. So I rolled around, changed my clothes, kicked the cat off the bed. Nothing worked. And as I lay there trying to cool down and fall back asleep I began to fret. I’m not normally a worrier, but there’s something about lying alone in the dark to get one feeling anxious about all of life’s troubles. My mind searched around for something else to think about, but I couldn’t seem to let go of troubling lines of thought.
How am I going to pay my bills? Is my dog going to feel better? (He’s been sick.) How am I going to send Rahul to college? What will I do when my parents get too old to care for themselves? Who will care for me when I’m old?
You know the progression of anxiety.
Then a strange thought popped in my head: purple. I saw in my mind the most vivid purple. It was so gorgeous that I forgot about my questions for a moment. It was an abstract thought, but it was an arresting color and I contemplated whether I had ever seen it in nature, or just material things. I thought about the sky and and the beautiful, startling colors contained in it at times and I puzzled over whether I had ever seen that purple in the sky before. I was sure I hadn’t. And as I drifted back off to sleep I longed to see that purple in the sky…
A short while later my alarm was gonging and it was time to get up. I rolled out of bed and took my dog outside for his walk. My brain was foggy and sluggish as I led him east along our street. He stopped to sniff something and I turned my head to stretch. And the western sky was completely purple. I immediately remembered my earlier thoughts and was stunned. It was exactly the color I had pictured in my head and it wasn’t just a sliver of purple, it was the entire sky! I stood frozen on the sidewalk staring into the sky. And before my eyes it changed to grey. As the sun was rising the colors were refracting differently and the purple was gone.
He made it purple for me! I thought. God put color in the sky at the exact moment I was going to see it to show me He would take care of all the answers to my anxious questions. To show me He loved me and He saw me.
I know it sounds arrogant–God colored the entire sky purple just for me!!–but I do believe it. I think He does it for all of us, all the time, whether we notice it or acknowledge or recognize it. David wrote, “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.” (Psalm 19:1-2)
I’m just one, tiny insignificant person and I am mostly invisible to the people around me. But to know that my Maker sees me is what I need to get through today.